why you’re still single based on your zodiac

LIBRA

Your unwillingness to commit to a partner, a dinner entree, a paint swatch, etc. doesn't make you intriguing; it just makes you ineffective. Gray is always a good choice, but the cod or your ex are never a good choice.

TAURUS

If you are a Taurus, there is a good probability that you are not single because you are too sluggish to leave your partner, no matter how unhealthy or monotonous the union has grown.

SCORPIO

Although it helps with insider trading and sports betting, your penetrating aura and ability to read minds obstruct your intimate relationships.

ARIES

Being the fire-starting first sign of the zodiac, you are both a memorable one-night stand and an utterly draining long-term companion because of your exuberant, chaotic personality. People, anything is amusing until it becomes a crime.

CANCER

The best case scenario for your love is that it feels like a cage, smells like a snickerdoodle candle, and is like a nice hostage situation. At their worst, Cancers in or looking for a relationship are like Kathy Bates in "Misery" in every way.

GEMINI

You're educated and quick witted, but you never, ever shut the f**k up.

PISCES

One person can fit in your bathtub, which is also filled with fantasies, sluggish white wine, and frayed Beanie Babies. Furthermore, you might be a serial killer.

VIRGO

No one loves to slum it up more than a Virgo in a relationship. You are the starting point for adult relationships, but once your fixer-upper spouse becomes a well functioning, desirable, or independent individual, they move on to pastures less painful to them.

LEO

You long for equality, but in your insatiable search for approval, affection, or hero worship, you fall victim to cheap flattery with a short shelf life.

CAPRICORN

You're not generous with your time, love, or reward points. As a true boner kill, you are the zodiac sign most likely to bring up a prenuptial agreement during a first date.

SAGITTARIUS

In truth, you are an arrogant elitist and an unrepentant libertine whose circle of influence is restricted to slack-jawed philosophy majors with absentee fathers, despite your want to project the image of a guru of progressive thought and free love.

AQUARIUS

Relationships are based on trust, and you have a strong feeling that everyone you meet is a member of the Illuminati or a shadow organisation that is stealing your lucid dreams and unpatented time machine inventions utilising Bluetooth technology.

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